Mukund's Recovery Testimony
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My name is Mukund and I am an alcoholic.
In my history of about 30 years of consuming alcoholic drinks, there should be, a period of about 24–25 years, during which the alcohol has taken hold on me. I have tasted many brands but except for the taste & degree of intoxification it gave, initially it gave me immense pleasure to my mind and comfort to my body and moulded me into a shape of a habitual drunkard. I could never understand this new qualification of mine, till I started consuming 2–3 pegs of my favourite brand ‘Black label’ before attending business meets organised usually at 7 p.m. in some countries. This was done with a view to bail out tension of meetings. They used to start with welcome cocktail & end with dinner & innumerable drinks (Remit Martin) used to cover the gap of time in between, normally 2–3 hours. Initially, I used to come prepared to the meeting with a starter drink in my stomach, I used to participate with full zeal elaborating my points very systematically even after two more pegs during meetings. But after a year or so, my starter quota raised from 2–3 pegs & immediately ushering into meeting room, I hurriedly used to gulp 2 pegs. The word ‘sipping’ had left my dictionary. The secretary used to tell me the next day as how she requested the other party to modify some minutes of meeting. I then knew that I am turning to a drunkard. This was around 1980.I pulled on for some years & finally got admitted to a well–known rehab, in 1989. The rehab center & the counselor was very good & I remained sober for over 8–9years. Then, as usual, due to over confidence, I slipped & relapsed, now i turned in to a shameless ‘Bewada’, I used to tell the guests in my house to wait for sometime so that I can go t o a near by shop for drink.
My second admission to rehab was in 2004–end .The rehab & The counselors were too good. Here I learnt many things which I was never aware of, in my previous admission. My counselor turned me upside down to remove from this mud & me stand as a new respectable gentleman.
The most difficult & painful process of life began –RECOVERY! I now came to know that the dry period after my 1989 admission was not a recovery period, it was just abstinence! My house members are much over burdened to bear me & partly they are not dependent on me financially abandoned me. A penniless person starts a new life at the age of 64. This time I found that my pains started right from the moment of admission. Last time I was young but this time, things were different. The idea of listening to a counselor of 30+, was first rebel reaction in mind. Then the requirement of permission of counselor to even receiver a call from relatives, standing in a queue with a plate for lunch & dinner etc. were very painful. It took me a month to adjust myself with the routine of rehab center, and another month to really like it I had given a very hard mental persuit to my counselor. It was extremely difficult for her to explain and to re–create a desire of re–living in me. But she endured herself the painful process of convincing me that I have a purpose to live & that is obligatory that I have to lead a good life. The society needs me I responded and turned a new page one day, captioned it, ‘Recovery towards an ideal person’. Later the counselor was heartily accepted by me as a true guide. Here I am now.
Recovery , from a ‘dirty old man’ to a likable ‘good old uncle’. An entirely new area to stay , entirely new area of profession & looking at a far placed light –my goal. It makes my life so easy , so natural ,that I am totally worry–less, leading to that light with my in borne courage & under the guidance of my omnipotent god.