Saurabh's Recovery Testimony
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It is difficult to recall exactly how I started drinking. As far as I remember I must have had my first drink along with my friends during my college days. Life was just fine in college. I found the first peg very pleasing. All of us were a little afraid while drinking initially, but never looked back later. We used to drink the moment we used to get a chance.
I secured 75% when I was in 10th standard, which later came down to 61% in 12th standard. Today I understand the reason for this difference. Alcohol was a new addition to our lives. We concentrated more on alcohol and less on studies.
By education I am Bachelor of Hotel Management. This curriculum gave me more inputs on alcohol. Making cocktails, tasting them became a daily affair. I made more friends out of which most of them were drinkers and I started drinking daily. My percentage was good when I completed this education and was fortunate enough to get a good job at one of the premier Five star hotels in Bangalore. Life changed when I was expected to be responsible for the job I did. I had no sense of responsibility since then. G I was asked to work in different shifts. Whenever I had a night shift I used to drink during daytime. I never felt comfortable until and unless I drank at least once in 24 hours. I was caught twice drunk on duty and was given warnings for the same. I was asked to resign from my job and I did it impulsively without consulting or informing anyone. I just picked my luggage up, drank about four nips and started for home. My parents thought I had come for holidays. But later on I succeeded in manipulating them and convincing them as to why I left the job.
Since then I had to change about six jobs due to my problem drinking. Drinking went on increasing. My parents were extremely worried about my drinking. My behaviour had become very erratic, violent and abusive. I never understood what exactly was my problem. My parents were helpless in front of me. Things were getting worse day by day. No job, no money, no friends, no relations but only alcohol had left a big question mark ahead of me.
If life has no meaning why should I live? Thoughts of committing suicide started occurring and such thoughts would recede the moment I had a drink. I would often threaten my parents verbally that I would commit suicide if my demands were not met. My intentions were to acquire money for drinking and I had no intentions of committing suicide. All my family members did their best to convince me to give up drinking but in vain.
The story took a different turn when I was referred to a psychiatrist.. Initially I was put on some anti–depressants and sedatives. I had a feeling that sedation was making me feel better. Instead of taking one tablet, I used to take two. The combination of sedatives and alcohol started giving more violent results. I met two serious accidents during this course of time.
The only option now left was a de–addiction centre. I was really exhausted and my parents helpless. At last I got myself admitted to Muktangan de–addiction Centre Pune in December 2000. The initial days of the treatment were very boring. I was also put on heavy psychiatric medicines. The psychiatrist realised that my behaviour is not normal and there is a serious need to make corrections in my behaviour. I was finding it very difficult to adapt myself in this confined space. My Counsellor used to talk to me daily regarding my problems.Director of Muktangan Dr. Anil Awachat and Deputy Director Ms. Mukta Puntambekar extended valuable helping hand towards me in my recovery process. After completing initial 35 days I was all set to go. It came to me as a surprise when my Counsellor suggested extended treatment for me, the decision taken by my Counsellor was a correct one. It helped me more to understand myself & took almost three years for the psychiatrist to get my thoughts and me back on track. After completing six months of treatment, one day I was asked to work in Muktangan by Ms. Mukta Puntambekar. All my dormant talents started becoming active. Initially I started with petty jobs but later on responsibilities increased. Today I work with the Regional Resource and training Centre of Muktangan.
Five years down the line when I see myself today I am sometimes surprised. It is the grace of the Almighty that I am sane today otherwise my destiny would have been a mental asylum or untimely death. Thanks to Muktangan and my colleagues. Each one of them has always extended me a helping hand & have taught me to accept facts. It is a fact that life is much better without alcohol rather than with alcohol.
Psychiatric correction helped me in reducing the impulsivity in my behaviour. Today I think I am happy in whatever I earn. Life is so much better today than it used to be.I am keeping good health & perfect peace of mind.
I am planning to get married this year. I have found a suitable match for me who understands my addiction problem and me. What more do I expect then? All these things have put back a meaning in my life Today i am happy & contented. Recovery is very painful but reaps good fruits. I have seen miracles happening in Muktangan, where people once living on road’s are successful businessmen today. These are the results of sobriety and I feel this is happening with me too.